Banana Noir

They say to really understand a person you need to walk a mile in a pair of their shoes. Well I’m inviting you to walk in a pair of Asian-American loafers where the back cuff is so smashed down the shoe becomes a slipper. So get out your Netflix wish list because I’m giving you five movies that capture (in some part) the Asian-American experience: 

The Joy Luck Club

This adaptation of Amy Tan’s novel of the same name is Asian-America’s answer to Beaches. In other words it’s a chic flick that’s supposed to make you cry (I swear I did not shed a tear watching this movie. An American Tail? Now THAT made me cry.). It’s basically about young Chinese-American women bridging the gap with their Old World mothers. Mercifully unlike Beaches there is no horrible Wind Beneath My Wings type song on the soundtrack. 

The Wedding Banquet

It’s about a Taiwanese guy living in New York City. The thing is he’s gay and to make his oblivious parents happy he marries a Chinese woman. Well, his folks decide to come to America to throw him a big wedding. What follows is a series of funny, sad and poignant moments that all lead to a thoughtful conclusion about unconditional love. Surprisingly gay people don’t make Asian parents terribly nervous. That’s because they believe gay people aren’t indigenous to their home country. It’s like Margaret Cho once said (imitating her mother): “Mommy know there is The Gay all over the world – except Korea!” Speaking of which…

I’m the One that I Want

A live concert film documenting Margaret Cho’s one-woman show. If you’ve ever seen Asian standup comedians from Asia, well, they’re about as comical as Sinbad. Cho, however, is I-laughed-so-hard-I-couldn’t-hold-in-my-fart funny. She’s raunchy, political, introspective and no one does a better imitation of the quintessential Korean mother.

Better Luck Tomorrow

This movie is about a group of model Asian-American high school students who get tired of being model Asians. So they become a gang of small-time criminals. It’s an interesting look at how Asian-American kids deal with the high expectations heaped upon them.  How did I deal with the pressure? Break dancing.  

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

Perhaps no movie represents the banana’s world like this film classic. No, seriously. You have the personal struggles of trying not to become an Asian stereotype. White Castle. The inner-turmoil of falling in love with a non-Asian. Racist cops. Getting recruited by missionaries from Asian college student groups. And of course, Neil Patrick Harris.  

Yes, I know I ridiculed two of these movies in a previous entry. My point was the scarcity of non-martial arts movies starring Asian-Americans. So please, don’t hate me for this confusion. Hate me because I’m beautiful.   

The Worst Places for Asians to Hide

Even though bananas may be “white” on the inside, there are traditionally Caucasian enclaves where we seem just as out of place as any other Asian. So if you’re into scavenger hunts this list is for you:

Places You Almost Never See the Asian-American

1. At a country music concert (excludes artists who are really pop singers with steel guitars). Oddly enough the first concert I can remember going to starred The Oak Ridge Boys. Nevertheless, you’ll almost never see an Asian in the audience of a concert that involves chewing tobacco or fiddling.
2. That other part of Home Depot\Lowes. You know, the part with the gigantic pieces of lumber, power tools and tradesmen stuff. Which is sad when you consider Asians have built such things as The Great Wall, the Taj Mahal and P.F. Changs.
3. In an American movie role that doesn’t involve the martial arts. Come on Hollywood. All we get is “The Joy Luck Club” and “Harold and Khumar Go to White Castle”?
4. At a hunting\outdoorsman store. Apparently we don’t need things like guns to hunt and defend ourselves because of our strong martial arts skills. 
5. Behind the wheel of a pick-up truck. I guess if you’re a doctor or engineer a vehicle that can haul a two-ton load really isn’t necessary. 
6. In a wedding dance line doing the “Electric Slide”. Another thing that perpetuates the stereotype that Asian-Americans are really smart.
7. Renaissance Fairs. Even a race painted as being full of nerds has its limits.
8. At a synagogue. For the life of me I can’t ever remember meeting an Asian who sports a yamaka for his or her religion. I find this surprising because Jews and Asians are both so guilt-ridden, education-oriented, career-minded and have to answer to overbearing mothers.