America: Now in Stereotype

This year, for the first time ever, a young Muslim Arab-American was crowned Miss USA. Instead of celebrating this cultural milestone we had some conservative talking heads playing to American stereotypes about Muslims by linking her to different terrorist organizations. I swear if Jesus Christ walked amongst us today he would be racially profiled in this country as a terrorist (unless you’re one of those who believe Jesus was a white American born in O’ little town of Bethlehem…Pennsylvania). Well maybe it’s time to look in the mirror at some stereotypes the rest of the world have about Americans.

There’s the one about Americans being lazy. Sure, you’ll find some loafers in the American workplace. They’re called Abercrombie & Fitch employees. But I’m sure a supervisor at a Taiwanese factory would describe some of his 5-year old child laborers as being lazy, too. My point is I think “laziness” is a relative term. On the other hand, I do think we Americans are lazy when it comes to our bodies. We love anything that helps us avoid exercise, like that vibrating contraption you strap around your gut that supposedly gives you a workout while you just sit there. Next thing you know people will start believing in magic pills that help you lose weight.

A lot of people think Americans are insensitive. I would argue we’re too sensitive. Yes, we live in a country where we put our old people into homes once they become inconvenient. But we also live in a country where everyone gets a trophy for showing up and people don’t keep score at kid’s sporting events so that no one’s feelings get hurt. Come on, America. Stop being so overprotective. If you don’t let kids fall how will they ever learn how to get back up? Or how to seek vengeance?

There’s the stereotype that Americans believe everybody in the world wants to be like us. I’m proud of our country but to think everything here is better is naive. For example, we complain soccer is boring yet baseball is our national pastime. We find escargot gross but eat things called McNuggets. We’re the supposed entertainment capital of the world yet there’s nothing on TV. We say we have the best education system of any country but when our kids get bad grades it’s the school’s fault. We dismiss British reverence for the Royal Family yet we treat The Jonas Brothers and Olson Twins like royalty. Americans complain Chinese-made products are shoddy but we fix the SAME stretches of highways and roads EVERY summer.

The bottom line: stereotypes are not healthy or good for anyone. So please. Watch an interview with our new Miss USA and you’ll see she’s no terrorist. She’s just another typical dumb beauty queen.

Do You See What I See?

Cultures, like people, can see the same thing in completely opposite ways. For example, many Asians view computer operating system “Microsoft Works” as an oxymoron. Americans see, well, um, the same thing. Okay. Bad example. But here are some better ones where Asians (over in Asia) and Americans look at things differently:

KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken)

American Perception: Gastronomical nirvana wrapped in a blanket of 11 magical herbs and spices.

Asian Perception (specifically the Chinese, as relayed to me by someone from China): They too cherish a bucket of the Colonel’s finger-licking goodness…except for them the least desirable offering is the drumstick (prized by Americans), which is head-scratching coming from a culture that enjoys eating chicken’s feet.

Outback Steakhouse

American Perception: The Bloomin’ Onion.

Asian Perception (specifically the Korean, as told to me by someone who did business for said eatery in Korea): Revered as a fancy-pants restaurant meant for life’s special occasions. Whether you’re trying to impress a business client, or win someone’s heart, Outback Steakhouse is THE bistro of choice for Koreans when The Olive Garden just won’t do.

Costco

American Perception: Crowded. Free food samples. Ten-gallon sized bottles of ketchup and 100-count packages of toilet paper. Elderly people determined to highlight your receipt as you leave.      

Asian Perception: It’s the same thing in Asia except for the types of food sold in bulk. My only suggestion is that if you ever go to a Costco in Japan avoid things like the Kirkland Signature brand of fugu (poisonous blowfish).  

Starbucks

American Perception: Everyone claims to dislike their coffee\business yet they’re on almost every American street corner filled with the likes of business people, soccer moms and art school students modeling anti-corporate t-shirts.

Asian Perception: Very popular in Asia right now where it’s “cool” to like their coffee because of their perceived global-ness. Asian caffeine fiends prefer their coffee to be lighter and sweeter than a typical cup of American Joe. A lot of Starbucks stores in Asia also tend to be more tea-oriented. In due time the Starbucks gift card will soon be the “default” gift in Asia as it is in America.

Making Whoopee

American Perception: The Birds & The Bees are still somewhat of a taboo subject here even though it’s on the minds and computers of Americans everywhere.

Asian Perception (information culled from a recent Time Asia magazine article): Most of Asia is going through a sexual revolution fed by western images beamed in by satellite TV, the internet and globalization. Unlike the naughty Japanese, many Asians used to be too poor or conservative for hanky-panky. Now thanks to newfound economic power and wealth, more and more Asians view going horizontal as being more fun than function. They’re more open and adventurous about what goes on in the bedroom. For better or for worse, however, many Asian females have also discovered the American custom of “faking it”.