Girls Just Wanna Have ???

Welcome to an America where 1 in 7 marriages are interracial or interethnic. So says a 2008 study and a 2009 phone survey done by the Pew Research Center. According to them the percentage of Americans who marry outside their race or ethnicity breaks down like this:

Whites 9%
Blacks 16%
Hispanics 26%
Militia Members 29%*
Asians 31%
*Obviously this line is a joke. The actual study focused on members of the human race not lemmings.

Of the Asians who “married out”, 20% of them were males while a whopping 40% were females. Why the discrepancy? If you believe the stereotypes it’s because Asian women are opportunists making a business decision. Their determination to climb America’s social ladders means face-palming Asian suitors. That to really become an American they need to be with a white guy and a PayPal account. Based on my own experience and other Asian-centric blogs nothing could be further from the truth.

Asian women in this country are more confident and have a greater sense of independence than their Far East brethren. Their husbands don’t define who they are so they’re pickier about whom they want to marry. So why isn’t that person Mr. Asian Man?

Well, a lot of Asian females find the Asian male too effeminate with bodies so girlish dating one would make them a lesbian. They think Asian men are, as my sister so eloquently puts it, too wimpy. To be fair, Asian mothers will do that to you. Being risk-aversive, shy and straight-laced is nice if you’re a kitten. Asian maidens like dudes who are athletic and socially outgoing: two things that aren’t on a lot of Asian male résumés. And Asian ladies nowadays want taller guys with more hair on their body than a woman’s. In other words, if the Asian man were a paint color he would be pink.

Are Asian women just buying into stereotypes themselves? Maybe. As a banana, however, I would be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t have my own (probably misguided) perceptions about marrying another Asian. Except for the whole Dragon Lady thing. That part is true no matter what the Pew Research Center says.

Kids Will be Kids

This solicited a chuckle from me. One of my sister’s friends knows this married Asian-American couple (that’s not the funny part) who just adopted two white kids (commence polite laughter). I say it’s about time. After all, for decades Americans have been adopting children from Asia. Think of this as returning the favor.

 There’s no doubt these adopted white kids will face a few social challenges and will be treated by some as a TLC-program novelty. For one thing, do you call them Asian-Americans? But if Asian tykes can adjust why can’t their Caucasian counterparts? I mean, I think adopted Asian toddlers know they’re not exactly like mommy and daddy or mommy and mommy or daddy and daddy. For instance, one of my white friends had a niece that was adopted from Korea. When I met the baby for the first time she just kept staring at me (the girl, not the friend). I’m sure she was thinking, “Wait a minute…you’re not like these other pale-faces…you look like me…and I just pooped.”

Here’s another thought: I know a lot of white parents want their Asian kids to retain parts of their racial identity, so they try to teach them things about their Asian heritage. But what exactly do Asian parents do so their white kids don’t lose their “whiteness”?

Will they give their children gold stars for every little thing they do? Will they take them on trips to J. Crew and Pottery Barn so they never forget where they “came from”? For their elementary school’s Culture Day will they wear a kimono or khakis? Will they make them eat mayo?

It’s befuddling how most people will accept a white couple with an adopted minority child. But if a minority couple adopts a white child it’s considered weird.

I don’t know the Asian-American couple’s motivation for adopting white children. Call me a dreamer but I’d like to think that they did it not because they thought of themselves as Asian-American parents. They just wanted to be parents. And yes, there are those who stipulate people should adopt kids from their own race. To them I say: go adopt some if you think it’s so important. To me love is love and race or color doesn’t matter when a child just needs someone to hold them so they can spit-up.

Who knows? Maybe someday the racial lines of “being a family” will be so blurred that more and more Asians will be adopting the white children of Hollywood celebrities. One can only hope.